Is love a choice?

It’s amazing today to follow the romances of the rich and famous. One minute the dashing couple are madly in love – the next they are sworn enemies. So what causes two people to go from wide-eyed lovers to hurtful haters? Put simply, it is our will. We are driven by the desire to please ourselves. Often we choose short term pleasure over long term peace. We think we know what we want but later we may come to regret our earlier choices.

Like anything in life, love needs to be practised in order to be perfected. Its actually rather misleading to say that we “fall” into love. Love is a decision, just like most things are in life. We need to take responsibility for our happiness, our decision making and our actions. Love sometimes surprises us, but it cannot exist effectively without people taking ownership of its existence. We need to develop our love muscle so that we can grow in our ability to love one another well.

Love Is A Verb

Love is often felt emotionally, physically and enjoyed sexually. However, love at its core is not a noun, but a verb. Love is something we do. Love is choosing to serve others, to support them and to remain in relationship with them even when it might not feel like the easiest or most enjoyable thing to do. Love is putting aside our selfishness so that others will benefit from it. Love is a motivator, a catalyst for change and a wonderful source of joy. But love is also something that requires output and not just input.

Whenever love is present all parties benefit. It has been proven that giving brings us more joy than receiving. A relationship with only one giver, however, is doomed to fail. If someone takes and never gives, that is selfish and abusive behaviour. Love is an enduring decision to meet the needs of a relationship, selflessly. All parties need to do this in order to benefit each other. A love like this is pure, wholesome and fulfilling.

Love Endures Hardship

Our need for love is evident. It is everywhere you look. There are people who spend their lives searching for it, while there are also plenty of people who take advantage of those who are busy trying to find it. The thing is, love gets better with age. Like a diamond, pressure only serves to intensify its value. In times of adversity we can choose to bury love or to invest in it. We can either consume it in quantity or enjoy it in rich, deep, satisfying quality.

Without love, life is rather meaningless but with love, we have a reason to build relationship and to enjoy community. Relationships require a foundation of love, otherwise all they are is a series of transactions. With love present, we have a purpose that motivates change and allows for growth, as we choose to leave our comfort zones and travel boldly where we have never been before.